Lots of dreams of heavy murder. In my dreams I saw maybe 5 people die. Each one more brutal than the next. I do have to admit that it creeps me out a bit, especially after last night's scuffle. I no idea how the day will play out today, but a hug would be nice. We'll just have to see what happens...

It's Do Or Die

I haven't dedicated a post to a song in a while. So this is "Fiend" by Coal Chamber. Love the song, love the video. It may be ten years old, but for me it still holds up.

Fiend for the fans and
Fodder for the press

Gene-Sis

Deep down inside, I think I'm pretty shitty of a brother. I'm pretty much a straight up jerk with my sister. I have a tendency to be rude to her, get mad at her, snap at her. A lot of times I act like she's a burden to me when she really means no harm. I love her, I really do, but I guess it's just that being born so many years apart and having essentially grown up separately (she ignored me and grew up hanging out with the neighbor's teens for ten years) is kinda why there is a semi-loss of chemistry. I make fun of her a lot, and although I don't do it with bad intention, I know it hurts her feelings. Then there is always the little thing that sits in the back of my mind and has somewhat haunted me since it happened: I was about 9 and Genesis was 2. We had bunk beds and I was cleaning the dust off of one of the shelves in my room. There was a trophy on the shelf and I threw it onto the top bunk, unbeknownst to me, Genesis had walked into the room, and the trophy bounced off the top bed and and hit her straight in the head with the marble edge of the base of the trophy. The whole incident plays in my mind all the time and there is always that fear inside me that her brain was damaged...

I'm probably going to get Netflix tonight or something, just so I don't commit suicide from being home all day. That's what I hate about taking care of my sister, the fact that I'm pretty restricted from leaving the house. The fact that I have deal with this for another two days is just blah. Not in the mood to rant even though it's all over my brain

2012 in Review

This year has been a really good year.

Friends
Becoming friends with everyone from The Cellar has been awesome. Ariel, Julio, Clara, Kim, Gaby, Carlos, Lindsey, Stephanie and everyone else have been some of the coolest people to have hung out with. Becoming friends with Felix, Jack and Nick was also really cool. Not many dull conversations with anyone.

School
I'm another step closer to graduation. 4 Bs and 2 C+s this semester means I can sleep soundly and just continue to improve next semester. Next semester is also probably going to be my hardest, which is a bit exciting, especially since I'm going to taking the two most important classes for my major. Bring it on school, I can do this. 

Concerts
What a year. Saw DevilDriver (for the fourth and fifth time), Iron Maiden, GWAR, Turisas, Arkona, Huntress, 3 Inches of Blood, Dethklok, In Flames (twice), Lamb of God and still many more. As much as it hurts to to go into the pit, that shit is fun and stress relieving. I got a good amount of hard knocks this year in the pit.

Cycling
I already previously dedicated a whole post to this. But buying Abigail had a huge impact on my life and has definitely aided in becoming a better person physically and mentally.

Germany
Man, what to say that I haven't said before. That trip is just memories I'm going to keep for life. Standing next to the pitch of the Alianz Arena and passing through the dressing rooms of the Bayern Munich players :3 I even got visit a fucking castle for myself and walk through its halls.

Mexico
Going to Mexico over the summer brought many great memories. Seeing my cousins again for the first time in two years and surprising my aunts and uncles brought along many smiles.

Movies
I 've seen a lot of movies at the theaters. Frankenweenie is still my personal favorite. The Hobbit and Django Unchained were both super great movies, Crazy, Stupid, Love and Paranorman are right there too. If I had to label one movie as the worst that came out, I'd easily go with This is War. That movie is shittier than shit. (I still didn't really like Drive)

Soccer
Real Madrid and Chivas are total disappointments for me. Arsenal are having ups and downs but kicking butt. To have Jack Wilshere back is great and I hope they do well in the rest of Champions League.

Video Games
I played a lot of FIFA 12 and 13 this year. Rayman Origins is fucking awesome and I really want to play Far Cry 3 (which I'm hoping to buy later tonight). Epic Mickey 2 is really good and If only Bioshock Infinite had not been pushed back, I would be playing it right now.  

Music
Heard some great songs and great albums this year. I'm still going with Pig Destroyer's Book Burner as my favorite album of the year. But man, for a debut, Huntress' Spelleater is still fucking kickass. Every song on that album is fast and just in-your-face riffage. (New DevilDriver cd next year :D can't wait)

Crunchbite
Well Crunchbite is still Crunchbite. Nothing new there.

America
Hehe not the country. I'm happy to call her my girlfriend and I enjoy spending my time with her. There is a point in time where I begin to lose count of all the good times we've spend together and the laughs. She's also trying to do The Blues Project next semester and I really hope she gets accepted. I know she's looking forward to it. (In all honesty though, it really bugs me that I can't beat her in Blokus. I try really hard and plan out my moves yet I keep losing to her, grrr)

Thank you for the memories 2012

(I need to figure out a way to improve my cellphone coverage at home. The fact that my phone can't get any calls or message when it's not attached to my window really sucks. Maybe if I cover my walls in tin foil...)

Spending Christmas with her was more than I could've even asked for :)

Merry X-Mas

Well essentially Christmas and the holidays have already come and gone. I loved it and found myself very fortunate. This is what I got this year: a Jack Skellington shirt, Pig Destroyer's Book Burner on vinyl, a Gamestop giftcard, The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down, and a Chrome cellphone pouch.

 As awesome as the gifts are, they don't compare to the memories, laughs and smiles that the holidays brought. Getting to know America's family was really fun. They're really hilarious and make delicious food. FOOD!!! There was this really funny moment while we were playing Loteria, that America and I had the same exact last 5 cards and won at the same time. Then there was also the moment her dog, Luci, attacked a bunch of plastic animals and ripped off their legs and ears hahaha.

I had a little more fun today than I actually thought I was going to have with my family. Plus it brought two golden moments: my mom had my cousin on speaker phone and she says, "Ali, do you want to speak to your uncle?" "No" when he was right there too haha and then when Genesis was talking to my cousin Edson, she says "Aque esta tu peor pesadilla" and says back, "No quiero quesadillas" hahaha. I got to speak to my favorite cousin. Mario, on the phone, which was super awesome. Love that guy to death.

I am excited for tomorrow but I am also a bit nervous.

Finals

I'm glad finals are finally over (no pun intended). I feel like normal person once again. I put myself through a lot of stress. Lots of sleepless nights and long days of paper. I got C+s in my two hardest classes (they were also my Anthro classes) and I'm super happy because I kicked ass in both my papers and my written short answer/essay finals. But now that they're done, I've gotten back to watching horror movies and laughing with my pals. Hanging out with America, Ed, Kim and Peter the other day was super fun. I'm a decent Apples to Apples player and I still try to kick ass in Blokus but can't win at all again America and Kim for some strange reason haha.

America, if you read this, I would like to apologize if I seemed like a bit of a jerk during then but thank you for putting up with me, your support, and keeping me company into the early hours of the morning. Having you by my side until 8 am helped a lot.

School

With the end of the semester I'm finally beginning to feel better about certain things. I know I'm not the greatest student or probably ever will be a great student, but when it comes to this, I know I'm the source of my own misery. I'm the only person who can be blamed for such shitty grades as my own. I pretty much have a C+ average gpa and have already failed and got Ds in a handful of classes. I'm glad that I have slowly progressed as a better student. I'm hoping next semester I can finally get pure As and Bs, and thankfully I have just the right people around me to help me get there.

I've been falling more in love with Anthropology. It's crazy how much a person's life and body is influenced by culture, religion and natural environment. I have such a small grasp on it and can't wait for my mind to still grow with more classes.

Jotun

I'm feeling a bit crappy today. I think it has to do with the weather. I mean sure my day has gone better than yesterday, but not really by much. Though I do prefer laying in bed staring at my computer from having nothing to do, over hating myself from brain melting exams, both still suck.

I've already planned to go bike riding tomorrow morning right after I wake up as a way to partially shake off the feeling. Tomorrow is another day that finds itself to be spent mostly at home, so I need to get out, even if it's for a little bit, just so I don't end up digging my own burial. I even lost all temptation to watch movies at home. THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING TO DO HERE!!! I'm hoping tomorrow there will be a spark in my head that goes off so I can think of a bunch of movies to watch when I get back home. But then again, it could be that my body is recovering from being burnt out from all the paper writing and studying during finals. The past 10 days were not kind at all to my body and mind. I could still use a hug, but I guess holding Jiffy when I go to sleep will do for now.

It's also a starless night sky tonight. I think the reason why I find it so beautiful is because it's an empty sky. There is no particular object to look at.

I really hope I dream tonight (and I'm not talking about one of those bullshit five second dreams either!). I just want to fucking dream again like I used to. I'm jealous of people who can dream on a daily basis. I hate not having something to look forward to as I lay down to sleep. The idea of having a dream that takes me on an adventure...I can't even dream about that.

"A body of black that carried no reflection"

Headache, stressed, no one to talk to and four hours of school still left. For a last day of class, today is pretty miserable. I hope I passed my Anthro 311 final. Answer 5 out of 7 short answer essay questions?! Fuck that killed my brain and I still have yet to recover. I still have to sit through 2 hours of regular class for my final and right now I'm the shittiest of moods to go through that. Can't wait to wake up tomorrow and think, "yay, nothing to do today and no one to talk to" just like every other day I'm home.

a hug would be nice about now

Whoops

So it just occurred to me that I brought a bullet belt to school right after there was a massacre (sounds appropriate to me) on Friday at an elementary school. I'm probably going to be profiled today, but I think I'll be ok. haha

I was also hoping to hang out with Gio today (he's the last person I know taking finals) but it turned out not to be so. So far I've been on campus for a little over three hours and am going to be here until 10 pm. I'll find something to do.

Killing and Kiltin' It

I'm feeling very ranty this morning. Not to sure why I am about religion, but I do know why about gender roles in society. I'm too lazy to rant about religion (computer is going to die in 30 minutes and I don't feel like getting up and plugging it into the wall) so I'll just keep this one strictly on the second one (that's an oxymoron right? "second one" sounds pretty ridiculous now that I think about it).

I read this mini-paper by someone named Roland Barthes on how toys set up social standards by adults on children and it got me all ranty (especially because I agreed). It's pretty shitty to live in such a society that forces invisible rules upon others. Boys have to play with boy toys and girls with their own. I've always had a problem with parents who get little girls plastic babies and strollers to take care of. Nothing is better as a parent than saying "hey two year old baby, one day you might be a mom, so take care of this plastic baby."If society wants people to be unique individuals (ironically, later in life), then why does this implementation not happen earlier? This is the reason why I love to learn about other cultures. Ask the Scotts if they like wearing kilts. Bring one of those bad boys to the US and you'll get looks everywhere.

From The Frying Pan, Into The Fire

Last night was great. Went to celebrate Mathew's birthday at Jeremy's house with America and Genesis. The entire family was there and I got to introduce America as my girlfriend to everyone :) We ate posole and pizza, and then watched Once Upon A Time with hilarious commentary, throwing in jokes from all over the place. After, America and I met up with John, Carlos, Lindsey, Clara, Kim and Gaby to go see The Hobbit. That movie is just spectacular. The way Peter Jackson sets up the story is great and the action scenes are above par. There is a scene that finds the dwarves and Gandolf running through Orc mines and there is a specific shot where the group is split into two parts and simultaneously battling orcs one level above the other. Then to top it off, when we got out of the movie, at 2:30 am, we all went for breakfast at IHOP for some pancakes and good laughs. I got this Iced Coffee Mocha thing that was LOADED with sugar. The waiter could have at least given me a spoon to stir it. I ended up drinking three of those bad boys and while I didn't get a sugar rush or anything, the after effect was still brutal haha. Clara tried to emulate my "That's not the point" phrase and failed miserably. After a good 5 pancakes, we finished at 4 am and decided to call it a night/morning. I hope in the future we can do it again.

Today looks like it's going to be horrible. My mom woke up in a horrible mood and apparently is having a bunch of people over to eat. Then it turned out, one of the people she invited decided they were going to invite a bunch of other people, which just made my mom go that much more ballistic. Everything points to me just staying in my room all day. Hopefully America can join us, but if she can't well that's okay too. I'm setting my day's expectations pretty low, so there is only one way to find out whether it turns out well or not.

My mother has good intentions but i think Im token cynical at heart with her

I'm ready for the day to be over and Saturday to come. Spend time with America, go visit Jeremy and the entire Hernandez/Martinez family and then go see The Hobbit with the Cellar

Such a bland and boring day. No one to talk to. No one to see. Nothing to do. No way to get around.

Thank You Abigail

This year has really sucked for my bicycle. In April we were doored, August slid on the floor and essentially incapacitating my leg and foot for over a month, now both my tire and tube called it day, and above all, my back wheel has been constantly breaking spokes. But on the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if I had something really close to a thousand miles on that thing this year. The real question is where haven't I taken Abigail this year? We've gone to Little Tokyo, East LA, City Hall, Union Station, Venice, Santa Monica, Highland Park, Van Nuys, LACMA, Hollywood, Chatsworth, Sylmar, and so the list continues. We've passed through some life threatening moments together and some of the greatest too. I hope 2013 can continue builing and may we visit more places and travel even more miles. Thank you for surviving with me Abigail.

 

 

 

 

 

 The battlefields are colored with the egnominy stained creed, with their eyes, their eyes blindfolded they rise into this world

 I love The Human Abstract's "Antebellum." The amount of classical influence that they put in their music makes their sound so unique. The song is so relaxing yet so heavy. (I also want to name my next bike Antebellum)