Under the Rug

Sometimes I wish I could get a thank you every here and there after the events of last summer. I did things to make others happy and sacrificed my own happiness for the most part of the second half of last year. I don't get the occasional "thanks for giving me/us this opportunity to be happy and try something new" that I wish I did. It feels a lot more like I'm the one who got swept under the rug. And if I say "thanks to me..." then I look like a self-centered bastard. Woop de fuckin do. I wish it wasn't like this, but that's just how it is most of the time.

Unfortunately rather short lived but I appreciated the gesture while it lasted

Random Point In Time

It's interesting seeing events from other people's perspectives. It'll always be an uncomfortable period for me.

I want a cat but I want to give it a dog name like Fido. That would be awesome. Everyone would be confused and I would just be frustrated because I can't use my computer due to Fido sleeping on my keyboard 

Jazz is an asshole

I'm an asshole and I feel like an asshole. I've got nothing against the Blackout I just find basically 99.9% of the world's population unaesthetically pretty in any way, shape or form. And to see you going crazy online about her looks brings me down a bit. It took me over 2 years to get anywhere close to that. Oh well. 

To be or not to be

I only find one woman in this world beautiful. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but in my head that's the way the cookie crumbles. 

Might Just Try It

Last week I played Left 4 Dead 2 with my friends and it was awesome. I had lots of fun with everything just going absolutely batshit crazy in that game. I feel like that moment helped me reignite a passion for games that I had been lacking. Now I haven't really been playing games any less cause I've been putting hours into FIFA 15 like crazy, but I felt like there wasn't much of a reason to play any of my other games. But since last week I feel back at it. I feel like I want to play Far Cry 4 and finish that damn campaign, and fight the rhinos and do all the fun stuff crammed into that game. I'm six hours into the campaign and I feel like I've gotten so little done. But then that got me thinking, what if I talk about the games I play. What I like about them, what I don't, what's annoying. Kind of like reviewing games. Maybe I would give them a score. I have no idea but it sounds fun to do, just like running people over in Far Cry 4 with auto pilot on. We'll see where this goes.

Never mind of yesterday, I'm feeling super special again :D

Well at least I enjoyed that novelty feeling of being called a soulmate while it lasted 

Yesterday I received the highest compliment I could receive, you were speechless when you saw me come out of the fitting room. It's been a really long time since I've been able to provoke a reaction even similar to it since the summer. I'm sorry that I can't look that attractive all the time but it was really nice to see you speechless and it made me feel great about myself and my own self confidence.