Is It All Just In My Head?

To a certain extent, I still believe yesterday didn't really happen. I'm not in a state of shock, a state of sadness or a state of realization of making actual sense of my tumble. Yesterday I almost lost my life for fuck's sake and all I walked away with was scrapes, cuts and bruises. I guess I just haven't taken the time for my body to actually sit, relax and realize that luck got the better of me. At the moment, my helmet appears to be more like a trophy saying "I'm not dead yet." As many things went wrong for me in that one moment, so many others went just right. I'm really fortunate with the scrape that landed centimeters from my eye. Had things gone even worse, I could've found myself blind in one eye. I'm still not sure how I didn't break my arm or dislocate my ankle due to directly falling on my elbow/underarm, hip, knee and ankle with the weight of the bike on top. The worst part of the fall is pain that resides under my skin. The pain of walking, showering, washing my hands. The back of my left palm is fucked up and very sensitive due to losing three or more layers of skin on some parts and very deep cuts on other parts. The entire bottom of my right arm is either covered in bruises, scabs or still some partial blood. I still have an open wound under my elbow with like an inch radius. Whatever, I'm stopping right here because just thinking about the battle scars makes them hurt. I'm not even disgusted from the wounds, it's just the pain that comes with each one gets to me every here and there. I think that at the end of the day I'm just going to laugh this off, just like everything else in life. I don't even consider myself a sane person anymore. I know I should be afraid to ride a bike, tremble at the thought of possibly falling again but in my head it's all just part of the game of life. I guess in this case I'm my own worst enemy for just throwing my life out there again but fuck it. If I'm going to die young, I'd rather die doing something I love. I hope all my friends know I love them because I will never know when the day will come that I might not make it home in one piece. Good night and hopefully tomorrow I will wake a normal person.