The Duo

I feel like a lot of times, Gio and I are a comedy duo and it is exactly moments like these that demonstrates the type of friendship we have.

I posted this last night around midnight and who better than Gio to continue the joke. We're a one-of-a-kind duo. That is all. Good night.

The Perks of Being Jazz

I don't fear death and today was another great example why that is. Today I believe my life was the closest it has ever been to ending. It rather interesting to see the whole thing play out especially since there are still injuries that don't seem to add up with what happened (or at least my own recollection. For all I know, my body is still in shock and fucking with what I thought happened). So pretty much I was biking down Exposition Blvd on the bike lane to get to the Metro Western Station when I slipped on the shattered remains of head light and rear light covers from an accident and fell on my right side. I slide completely horizontally to the ground and crashed directly head first into the sidewalk (or the curb I guess, since I was at ground level in the first place). With no real sense of what had happened, I just got up, picked up my bicycle and walked towards the train station since I was already almost there. The first step was the hardest. It felt like I couldn't move my ankle and most of the feeling had disappeared from my foot from the knee down. I just limped and limped and limped some more. My arms were covered in dirt and blood. Nothing put me more in my place than realizing I had broken my helmet. The top of my helmet crashed directly into the curb. Just looking at the cracks now are pretty surreal. Had I not been wearing a helmet, I probably would have cracked open both the side and top of my head and just have let blood gash all over the place. Even my neck begins to randomly have the sensation of being sore. It also turned out that I scrapped part of the right side of my face while sliding. I didn't even realize it until I saw myself before taking a shower. Looking back onto all of it now, my helmet easily was the difference between life and death. I guess I'm pretty grateful my mom makes me wear it every time I go biking. I hated it at first when I bought it back in January because I looked a bit goofy with it on but it grew on to me over time. My helmet complemented my hair pretty well. Even my friend Madison told me she was jealous of how well I was able to pull off my long hair down with the helmet on. Sometimes when I'm getting ready to leave the house and go biking, I stress out for not being able to find my helmet and even freak out at times. Coincidentally of all though, right before I fell down, I was telling myself I would rather look goofy than risk cracking open my skull and almost instances later, there I was, sliding on the floor. This event isn't going to stop me from riding my bicycle once again after my ankle gets better. On Tuesday I plan to go directly to the store to buy a new one and get back on the streets. I don't get an adrenaline rush from any of this, just in my mind there is no fear of what may happen the second things go wrong. Do I have problems? Probably, but the world is going to have to try harder to take me out. I'm a trooper on the inside and will keep on riding the streets until it is 100% physically impossible for me to do so. If the world thinks it won the battle, man was it wrong. But enough with that, how about the pictures?

 

"Don't let the fucking world, bring you down"- DevilDriver

Confusion

One of my mom's friends told me yesterday, "I can't believe you study anthropology in college and listen to heavy metal. They're complete opposites." What the fuck? I didn't even know there was a correlation in the first place. Comparing my taste in music and the subject I'm studying in school is like saying "I can't believe you wear Converse shoes and drive a Honda." It's exactly people like these that depress me. Your reasoning is not helping the world get any smarter. Now let's say it was possible to choose a degree based on the music you listened to, what would one choose? None because the music you listen to is not a determining factor in ANYTHING. I was listening to "Priests of Sodom" by Cannibal Corpse and they go, "Can you even understand it?" and they were shocked when I said yes. Obviously I didn't tell them what the song was about since they're Catholic, but people can be so absent minded, it scares me. I will sit here and continue to listen to heavy metal because when it comes to questioning my musical tastes, the world can go fuck itself. Now off to listen to some Dimmu Borgir. Have a great day everyone.

Little Things That Go A Long Way

2007 was a life defining moment for me. Two specific things happened that I believe have been essential in the development of the Jazz everyone sees today both physically and mentally. The first would be my ex Diana (who was my gf back then) who did numerous things to me. She, in simple terms (and I mean VERY simple terms), took me for granted and caused me much pain and heartache. Until this day I still don't understand why she cheated on me 3 times and almost cheated another 3 times in that same period. Those events taught me that as a person, I'm too nice. I forgave her the first 2 times and on the third she broke up with me for the third guy she cheated on while with me. They broke up after a month and she came to me asking for forgiveness one last time and wanting me back. Thankfully by then, for me, enough was enough and I caught all ties with her. She only listened to hip-hop and reggaeton, only wore Abercrombie and Hollister and the list keeps going. In zero ways the girl I would probably date ever again. I learned my lesson. To this day, I still feel like I have hatred towards her inside me, but at the same time, I was 14 and she was 13. People make mistakes and your childhood and teenage years are a learning process. I think that it is exactly events like this that have twisted and sickened my mind to the dark void that it appears to be today. Am I more mature than most people my age and those a few years older than me? Probably. Do I think some of the darkest thoughts that many people should never even think of in their entire life? Without a doubt. But am I evil? Fucking yes I am.

Defining moment two was the release of DevilDriver's The Last Kind Words and listening to "Not All Who Wander Are Lost." Why this song of all? Because of non other than the line "All of your hopes and dreams never meant shit." That one line changed my complete outlook and philosophy of life. I grew up through life hating my personal appearance. I was a fat kid who everyone made fun of. I've spent the past 10 years of my life weighing 200 pounds (since 4th grade to be exact). My dad always told me I was wasting my time learning how to play instruments and said I was wasting his time by not being a straight A student in school. The interesting thing about the set of lyrics is that it made me realize I spent to much time considering the opinions of others and didn't live happily myself. Setting no dreams or aspirations meant that there was no way to fail but still leaves the sky as the limit of whatever I chose to do. It's turned into my life motto and I kindly give myself reminders on an almost daily basis of it. I may not have any dreams, but I don't see myself as lost either. I'm not currently happy with life. My dad hates my family with an indescribable rage. Moving houses is just a giant mess. I don't even want to have hopes to where ever we end up moving too. The divorce itself seems like it never ended in the first place.

Since school started again, I continued the tradition I've had for the past 11 years, playing Deftones' "Back in School." I heard this song while in Mexico and it opened my eyes to the Deftones. Well I guess that is all for not.

Got my bullet belt. It's awesome and a pain to put on and take off haha. Well blog, until next time.

Not Getting Ahead of Myself

I'm a simple guy attempting to live a simple life. Life is not simple. It looks like we might have found a place to live but I'm trying not to get my hopes up high just yet. It's a place we all like and would like to move to, but I don't want to be disappointed like with other things in the past.

On a side note, I did an evaluation in all of my classes of women I found attractive and the conclusion was zero. Why I did it? I'm not sure myself. Maybe the single life has fully settled in. Who knows, cause I don't.

Metaphor

You stole my pure intentions
You are the sickness in between
Let me in, I’ll bury the pain

You taught me to be sad as you
You almost made me take it all
Let me in, I’ll bury the pain

You bend me and you shake me
You beg me then you break me
Let me in, I’ll bury the pain

You made me feel like a sinner
You fear you’ll die alone
Let me in, I’ll bury the pain

The sickness that you are
A plague that made me starve
Do you think you can show me
How I come this far?

The sickness that you are
A plague that made me starve
Do you think you can show me
How I come this far?

I feel it’s taking over
And everything falls dark
Break me open, the desperate cry

The sickness that you are
A plague that made me starve
Do you think you can show me
How I come this far?

The sickness that you are
A plague that made me starve
Do you think you can show me
How I come this far?

Break Out The Shotguns

I guess tomorrow life will be a little more normal than it's been these last few weeks and months. To say the least, this summer has definitely been a handful. School is once again back in session for me in less than 8 hours. Im happy since it'll get my mind off of things and keep me busy for the time being. The great thing than comes with this is getting in the rhythm of seeing all my friends on a daily basis. They're the ones that I one day hope to make proud by graduating. They're also essentially all that i have. Good night blog.

Evolution Or Oppression

I'm not sure if the me who appears today is formed from the process of me becoming more of a metal head over time, or me letting out the metal head I've always wanted to be. I've always loved the "Satanic" imagery that has come with heavy metal. Pentagrams, devil horns and inverted crosses are essentially the backbone of metal, along with black, studs and spikes. Now that my parents somewhat let me dress however I would like to, I feel like I've let myself go. I love my Arch Enemy "Pure Fucking Metal" shirt with the pentagram on the front and I want to get a Venom "Welcome to Hell" shirt that also features the pentagram. I ordered my first bullet belt earlier this week and I'm considering wearing it everyday until I no longer can. It's just one of those things I've always wanted. I think this is all just the oppressed me coming to light. Even with all these things, I'm not a "Satanic" person and there is no logical way I can even believe in that. I would like to thank that guy at Paganfest who wore a shirt that said "Who needs God when you have Satan." That moment made me realize that not believing in the idea of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and a higher being also automatically relieved me of the idea of believing in/worshiping Satan (who is one of God's angels). By all logical reason, you have to believe in God to believe in Satan. Without light, there is no shadow and vice-versa. It's funny how life changing certain moments in life are. I am just a person who morally doesn't agree with organized religion (mainly Catholicism and its many related religions) and do not label or feel sensitive towards certain imagery. If you ask me, not it just kinda seems I'm just ranting off. Well, at least there are all my thoughts for the night. Good night and good luck.

Hold Your Ponies

I was biking the other day in a pair of jeans and a black button up shirt, when my mom saw me and said, "mira que guapo estas" and I tell her to not get ahead of herself. I then explained to her that I only use that certain button up for biking so my shirts would not get the little cotton balls. I already know that the number of girls I appeal to equal zero, so I'd rather not let my mom get her hopes up. I walk around wearing all black, pentagrams, (as of Wednesday of next week) bullet belts, long hair that is almost down to my elbows (but not quite yet, which is frustrating) and ride around town on a bike. (If you ask me, 0% mother approval) I'm a very sociable person, but it's understandable why people chose not to talk to me, whatever. Keep on judging me world.

Diminishing Health

For these past few days, I have not been eating lunch and have been biking more than the usual amount. Circumstances all just somehow end up leading to me not eating a single bite of food for lunch. Rather than aiding my body that needs more energy now than ever, I don't appear to be there for its aid. Also, I need to rethink my breakfasts than just waffles with coffee or bread with coffee when I'm going to ride my bike later in the day. I have no actual energy when I really need it, like going uphill or when I need to pick up my pace and keep it at a constant while riding next to cars. I'm trying to get back in shape, but every day it feels like I'm further and further away.

Strangeness and A Weekend To Look Forward To

The last two days have been a tad bit strange. On Thursday I got an email from someone posed as "Not Crunchbite." Strange...I know.

Yesterday I was approached by a car with 3 guys at a red light and in a serious face, the two sitting in the front seats go, "Sup girl." Now I got used to hearing that from my volleyball teammates since no one had hair longer than two inches, except for Gio. But to hear that from complete strangers, woah. Obviously they were joking since they started cracking up and I gave them a wink back and then the light turned green and off I was. Geez, but talk about creepers.

This week is poised to be more than an awesome way to end my vacation. Today I'm going to go meet up with Josh, Roxy, Jeremy and Betty at Josh's house for some random party. But that's not the important part here, the thing is besides hanging out with my best friends, it probably means pupusas :D I have yet to try any better than those that Josh's mom makes. On Sunday I get to see everyone from school: Gio, Bob, Lawrence, David, America, Irving, Zoya, Kim, Diana and Britney. I can't wait, plus school starts on Monday :D Until then, I think I have a lot of smiles coming my way.

Una Bala

Going to sleep early since I'd rather the day end now than later. Why can't people just let others live happily. My mom always has to go around ruining my day with shit about my dad. I don't give a damn about what he might have done, yesterday, the day before or this past weekend. Just let him be, yeah he's a piece of shit dad who only cares about himself at the end of the day. You think I don't already know this? If it really fucking bugs you so much that he goes to San Francisco with his lover, file a complaint to the court, not to me. Don't bitch at me with your "I can't believe your dad [insert activity here]." I guess at the same time my mom is just bringing me back to reality and not letting me float in the fantasy world where I really am happy.

I don't really know why, but this reminds me of the dream I had  where my dad walked up to me and tried to shoot me straight in the head at point blank range but missed. There is nothing special about it but it has always stuck in my mind.

Dreams. I don't have dreams. What is the point of having future dreams when you can't even dream in the first place. I have about a dream every six months. Aspirations? Don't have them either. I mean, my only current goal in life is to graduate from college. My aspirations in life died a long time ago. Every time I make plans for the future, something always goes wrong. I don't want to live the life of a fairy tale but rather that of a horror movie. Life never hands me the happy fucking ending I look for, yet here I am still.

Status Update

I don't take myself seriously at all. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing (probably more bad than good). I mean, come on: my cover picture is Mastodon with Barney, my picture is me with one of the silliest posses I've ever done and my pentagram shirt on, while my job has me as a Splicer in Rapture. But then again, it's Facebook and I'm stuck enough seeing people like Bob post shit like this:

At the end of the day, it's not like people even look at my Facebook profile. I could have pretty much pentagrams all over my page and it would completely go unnoticed. But seeing how ridiculous my page is makes me laugh and gives me zero reasons to change it in the first place. But I swear, if I see Bob post some more crap like this:

then I'm going to just beat the shit out of him on Sunday when I see him. On the other hand, I find high school kids arguing about relationships on Facebook hilarious! This is one of my favorite examples:

It's like entertainment for ages:

Alright, I might be cruel for laughing, but I'd rather see that than Bob's stupid pictures. Well, off to eat and who knows what from them. I don't know what tomorrow brings, but it better bring peanut butter.

Reset the Clock

Well, turns out that I need to move a clock back. According to my mom, now we're moving next Friday. Now it really sucks that I packed up my consoles but I'm not really going to be home next week anyways so I guess it's alright.

Also on a sidenote, I suck at Blokus now :( I don't know what's going on but I need to rethink my strategy when I play against Diana and America.

On another sidenote, I want to buy an inverted cross necklace. Just throwing this out there.

Chófer Del Diablo

I hate waking up early but here I am anyways. I feel like writing about one of my favorite bands, DevilDriver. I love DevilDriver to death. I plan on getting their logo tattooed sometime in the near future. It has been almost 7 years since I first discovered them. They're very dark and really "fuck you" in your face kind of music, which just makes them that much better. They've meant so much to me over the years and helped me get through (and still helping me) some really horrible times. I've seen them four times live with a fifth coming in November. So I'm just going to post my favorite songs (I have a lot) followed by my favorite lyrics from the song. I'll post more on another day.

Favorites

 Take advantage,manipulate
Take advantage,you piece of shit

Grinfuck
Debt paid in full!
You won't Grinfuck me!

 Get out, leave it far behind
Get the fuck out!

Run now…to save your soul
Run now…to take control
Run now…to save your life
Run now…it's do or die
Just run…

 Every sorrow has its source
And your conscience isn't free
In the dog days of Summer
On another sober September
This was meant for you

...
They pray for villains
When their heroes let them down

 Making the best of a bad situation
Making the best of!
Making the best of a bad situation
Making the best of!

This is your conscience speaking, spare your spirit
Trouble is on its way, it's on its way
Teach me to whisper
Cause I feel like screaming, teach me to whisper

All of your hopes and dreams, never meant shit

 If that's the way it's gonna be the I'll fuckin' go it alone
I'm a saint in sinners eyes
Curse the clouds over California
This is the call to obey
Let the chaos reign!

 These fighting words deserve exile
Banished! Unbelievable, unbelievable, invincible...right!

 My stomach's in knots
Throw at me what you got
'Cause I will break free,
of all the webs that bind me

I'm fit to be tied
I've got you dead to rights

 You've burned the bridges
You've sowed the lies
You've burned the bridge
You're on the shitlist!

With everything you do

With everything you are 

Everything you say, you take it too far 

You make me sick, you make me sick! 

This sour taste remains, this sour taste remains disdain

 The world is venomous, it's fucking relentless!

Scrutinized, no one denies
You play the victim
Coldblooded, coldblooded

 And if we lose 

We're going straight to Hell

Straight to Hell

I could care less

Straight to Hell

 Lost sleep, count sheep
Can't see them to get my mind off of things
Toss and turn, candles burn
Grinding teeth and night endlessly

Old habits die hard and I've lived so fast
And I know it's a long way down

Like a stray dog, brought back to the fold
Out in the cold, brought back to the fold
But I still stand by

You'll never justify
Better, better sanctify
You'll never rectify
Your self-affliction

Reflections

LACMA

Berlin

Berlin

Puppy Ambush

This past year (August 2011 to August 2012) has been one hell of a rollercoaster. It began in one of the worst ways possible, a break up after an entire year with a person who I would consider one of the closest in my life. But other things arose from the ashes. I became really close with a great set of friends who I wouldn't trade for the world. We've been to so many concerts, hangouts and other random stuff that I find it impossible not to love all of them. Just being around America, Irving, Kim, Gio (and those random scenarios where Britney, Zoya, Andy, Diana and Emmanuel also join in) is just pure fun and laughter waiting to happen. One of my favorite moments together was this one time that we all went to Little Tokyo and decided to eat wasabi with our dinner and Zoya was pressuring everyone to eat some but wouldn't herself. Irving, America, Emmanuel and I were just eating that stuff by the chunks. Then there was also the time everyone came over for my birthday and for Gio's surprise party (America, I still could not have done it without you, thanks once again). Going to see In Flames back in February was just kickass. In Flames knew how to get the energy going even in their slowest songs (they're not that slow live). Paganfest in April was indescribable. Dancing to Arkona and just going crazy with Turisas. Concert wise though, Iron Maiden is still the cream of the crop. If you ask me, these memories are just the beginning and there is still so much more to come in the future I can't wait. School starts on Monday, I know I won't have to wait long.

Uncertainty

Well the clock has almost finished ticking and the final destination appears far from being set. That is the only update i can offer. Im interested myself to see how this ends. Enjoy your day everyone.

Countdown

Two countdowns are running simultaneously with interesting outcomes each. Tomorrow begins the final three days in which i will give in my current home. But there are also six days left before i start school once again and begin my junior year. This school looks to the best so far yet. No heartache, awesome classes and the awesome group of friends that i hang out with when not at school (and go to concerts with). we've all grown a strong bond together especially now with Kim in the group. Can't wait to get the chessy jokes rolling. The whole deal on moving seems to be more interesting by the day as well. My mom still hasn't decided where to yet. Ill just let the clocks run out and let them be. Enjoy your day everyone.

The Stuff That Randomly Appears On iTunes

Today I got thrown back into middle school for like 15 minutes. I had my iTunes on shuffle like I always do (right now I'm playing "Fuel for Hatred" Satiyricon. I'll insert whatever song comes next when that happens later in this post) and Atreyu popped up. For a hot pocket's sake, the last time I even had a conversation about them was with my old volleyball teammate/friend Jerson. (The next song turned out to be Mitch Hedberg.) The song in question that came up was "Ex's and Oh's." I'll be real for a moment, that intro is still one of my favorite solo intros ever written.

"The Remembrance Ballad" also came up.

And so did "Demonology and a Heartache."

Label them whatever you want to (most go with emo and screamo), I have to admit I still find them catchy. The Crimson was the only album by them that stuck onto me. They're kinda like Bleeding Through, they just lost me on their later albums. One thing that I thought was cool that not many bands do, is that two of their singles had music videos that created their own two part story. Of the two songs, I think "Kill to Believe" is the better one.(it is posted below)

This part two, using the song "Love in Slow Motion."

Another one of those bands that really changed their sound was All That Remains. This Darkened Heart and The Fall of Ideals were super duper awesome albums. Very guitar heavy and great solos. My favorite by them hands down is "The Air That I Breathe." Even their music video is fucking awesome. The snare drum intro with everyone walking to their instruments. Jeez, that is exactly how you make a cool looking video.

I'll post one last song by All That Remains and stop ranting. This song is called "The Deepest Gray." Check it out, it's a good song. Enjoy your night everyone.

There Is Fate Worse Than Death

Keep the engine burning hot, apocalyptic war machine
Needs fuel for fire- 3 Inches of Blood

Wow my Sunday went from amazing to shithole horribly quickly. (I just woke from up from an 8 hour nap and it's 3:13 a.m.) So in the morning I joined my stepdad in playing soccer with his Sunday league team. I played the last like 15 to 20 minutes since I'm out of shape hahaha. I almost scored a goal, which was pretty cool but I slid a second too late and just missed. After I went to my friend Josh's house to eat pupusas and when I got there it was like a family reunion of the Hernandez family. All my best buds were there. Around like 1:30 I took a little nap and that's where everything changed. I woke up with a headache that progressively got worse. The worst part was that by 5:30 I was starting to get nauseous and by 6 I had a migraine with heavy stomach pain. What happened after was weird to me, I did end up blowing chunks but then I became very cold and sweating like crazy. Got home around 7:30, just drank some pepto and went straight to sleep. This leaves me at where I am right now. I'm a tad bit tired but woke up perfectly fine. How strange if you ask me. Well hopefully I can go back to sleep. It's still too early in the day.

The Chaos Emerald

The week has been very interesting and it's Sunday. You know what that means, hopefully a relaxing day. Well onto The Devil's Carnival. It's a musical (movie) about these three people who go to hell and it's actually a carnival. Aesthetically, the movie is very creepy looking which makes it really awesome. Very dark lighting, strange make up and abandoned looking sets. There we a lot of cool looking characters, but my favorite was Alexa Vega (you know, from Spy Kids) as Wick.

Emilie Autumn as Painted Doll was trippy and awesome. I mean look at that make up

Needless to say, the movie itself was WAY too short. I mean, we're talking like an hour long. Thankfully the movie was entertaining enough to keep me engaged and not complain too much of how short it was. But we saw the movie with a shitload of cosplayers who had already seen the movie before and Repo. This resulted in a lot of singing before and after the movie. Now the singing during the Repo clip, I don't really mind because they're not taking anything away from the movie itself (it was like 15 minutes from starting). I considered it that moment when people sing along to songs at concerts that they play on the PA between sets. But during the actual movie, we were all fortunate that the people sitting directly behind us knew every word to every god damn song in the movie. GAH!!! We all just wanted to shoot them after the first word. Since it was a musical, it was kinda hard to come out not liking a song and the one that stuck to me was "Kiss the Girls." Even though what is beneath is just a snippet, the song itself is pretty out there.

Now easily the best part of the night was just was just crackin' jokes. Before, during and after, it was just a really good night to spend with friends. PERIOD!

On a complete sidenote, the music in The Devil's Carnival reminded me a lot of Babylon Circus' "La Cigarette." Check it out, it's a good song. Have a great day.

Hail Satan

Well last night I went to go watch The Devil's Carnival with America, her sister, their cousin and Jonathan. Very interesting movie to say the least and I really want to talk about the evening (as in pre-show) and the movie itself but I'm way too tired to actually type it out. I feel very sleep deprived due to only getting like four or five hours of sleep on a daily basis for the last week and a half since I'm constantly waking up at 6 or 7 to do something. Going to knock out early today and hopefully gain some of it back. Good night everyone and I'll talk about The Devil's Carnival tomorrow.

Away You Go

So today has been day one of packing and this is kinda just a mini update on what has gone on so far. All my books, consoles, movies, school related materials have been packed. Essentially everything that is left is just a stereo (which was suppose to be for my records before someone broke the fucking needle), my computer and my clothes. It's a bit hard to pack a drawer into a cardboard box haha.  I need to get back to packing and also watching soccer. Enjoy your day everyone.

P.S. America, we need to sit down with the entire group and plan out what concerts to attend this semester.

Call Me A Woman

Good morning random people who read my blog, I'm getting ready to go play soccer with some of my friends right now (yes at 7 a.m.) but I'm kinda regretting saying yes because I have to admit that my hair looks beautiful right now. Man hahaha. Today is just probably going to be an all packing day with a very enjoyable night with America and her sister. Adios and have a great day everyone.

Starless Night Skies

Here i sit in my bed, preparing to rest but not going to sleep just yet. I'm going to be extremely honest here, there are days I really wished the devil existed. Just to have something to blame for all that is going on. I was given the great news during breakfast that all current plans have been thrown out the door and we're moving this weekend since the new owner has raised the rent price once again if we wanted to stay another month. That's not even the worst part, what is really shitty here is the stress it's putting my mom through and she takes some of it out on me. I find it ridiculous that my mom wants to buy a house and resell it in a few years.

I visited my dad today and he goes, "Your mom messed up by trying to put me in jail and take the house away. This is what she gets for doing that. It had to be sold eventually." I had no idea what to respond to that. Besides the fact that my father used to my mother to hide his sexuality and yet still cheated on her, obviously she was the was the one who messed up in the relationship.

Essentially between tomorrow and Saturday I need to fully pack up my room. I have yet to even start with one cable. I'm beginning to get curious of where we will end up. I really just wish my mom wasn't so picky about the house she wants to stay at. My mom can't get the proper loan for a house because of her credit yet she continues to avoid apartments since it's time and money wasting.

I'm not really sure what to do anymore so I'm just going to say fuck it and just continue whatever it was I was doing in the first place. I mean I have no idea what my priorities in life should be since I'm surrounded by this constant chaos. All I know is that I need to keep my head in school and make someone proud. I don't think I'd mind being homeless as long as I were still going to CSUN.

I'm currently watching Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra but probably going to watch Inglorious Bastards right now just to get my mind off of things. I'm not in the mood for any particular movie but that's the only that seems like it would hit the spot right now. (On a side note, I need to find a horror movie watching partner. I've seen way too many as a party of one. America are you up to it? There are a handful coming out this October.)

Good night and until next time.

 

"Burn in Hell" by Dimmu Borgir

A Revolving Revolver

I'm not really sure why I'm awake. I'm tired out of my mind. I've been keeping my brain busy from thinking about everything that's going and I believe it's doing me a great service. These next 30 days are officially our last month here. The house has been completely sold as of today. I don't really feel like talking about that tonight but I'm just not really sure what I want to talk about in the first place. Tomorrow looks to be dull but I'll figure out a way to spice it up a bit, maybe watch a movie or two. Tomorrow I'll probably write a lengthy post of something that comes to my mind. Hopefully I dream tonight and remember it, if I don't, well it doesn't change anything. Good night and good luck.

Two Pound Torch

Yesterday was pretty dull. I had to go to court to fix a ticket I got in March of 2011. The judge lady was in a horrible mood and pretty much gave everyone some pretty big fines. I got lucky to walk away with a time extension. I later joined my stepdad in going to drop something off at an office that my uncle's coworkers work at only to have the car break down on our way back. It took 2 hours to get home after the car broke down. The rest of the night I was just on my computer wasting time. But I did spend some time yesterday with Crunchbite and the pups. They all bite my toes and it's hilarious. I love those little things.

Today is just another day I suppose and it has things looking to be in a lighter mood. I'm hanging out with Shayna and that's pretty much it. Last time we hung out was three years ago so it's going to be pretty fun.

I guess some good news came in the fact that we're staying at the house for a month longer but who knows from there. That is all.

Click Clock

Today was just another day in the game of life. I feel like writing about something, but I'm not really what to write about so I'm just going to write until I feel like I'm done. Here we go:
-I don't think my mom's relationship with my stepdad is going to last very long. They have arguments (like any relationship) but the some of the worst arguments stem from some of the smallest bullshit reasons I've ever seen. Today my mom got really mad at my dad because he didn't finish drying the car after washing it in the morning. When I mean mad, I mean she threw a small fit and didn't talk to my dad for like 30 minutes because the droplets of water still on the car were going to leave stains. Just a few minutes ago, they had another argument (I was blasting Arsis, so it even though I couldn't here them arguing, I did get to hear the door slam as my stepdad walked out) which kinda just happens like every other day. I'm not really sure what to make of it.

-Today was Jaime's birthday and while it was awesome hanging out with Jeremy, Roxy, Josh, Betty and Jaime, everyone was asking me where I was going to move to. I answered in all honesty, "I wish I knew myself." Essentially tomorrow is judgement day because we have to decide what exactly we are going to do. All I can really say is that I'm fucking ready for whatever life decides to throw at me. I've been able to survive until now and will continue until the last minute when my time is up. For all I know, tomorrow I might not even wake up. But I probably will and will just go through it like every other day up to now.

-Last night I slept on the floor. I'm not sure why, but I did and liked it a lot. I hate beds and spring mattresses. Plus I had a dream, so I'll look forward to the next time it happens. I think that is all for today.

Estranged

So last night I had a dream very similar to the on from Friday night. It was set in this fictional part amusement park, part museum place. I've been there many times in my dreams over the years so the setting is nothing new, just usually what happens in my dreams. It didn't last long (seriously, an ad on tv was probably longer) but just became more confusing since it squished everything up together. (As I write this I'm listening to "Mine Turtle." I have no idea what the hell is going on. Damn Kim for showing it to me hahaha) So here go: the dream starts off with Gio and I walking through a corridor with a shitload of people. As we reach the end, it appears to be the entrance or something similar since we have to walk down a few stairs, but in that moment, my friend Jesse Romo comes out of no where behind us on a hovercraft sort of vehicle and tries to ride down the stairs and fails. After helping him get up, we walk to an Egyptian themed museum just a few steps away and then the dream restarts just as before but once again my friend Jesse falls. As we reach the base of the stairs, we see an ad for AOL 16 and say to Gio, "Hey wasn't AOL 15 out last week?" "Yeah." (For those of you who know Gio, just insert his sighing voice here) As we begin walking again, we randomly are spotted by America, Stephanie Ortega and someone else who I cannot see and voice I don't recognize. The crazy part is that they spot us from really far away. Once we all began walking towards each other the dream ended and I woke up.

Too short but at least it was something, plus it had familiar voices and faces, so I can't ask for more. Who knows when I'll dream again

A Sinking Ship

Saturday 08/11

The current time finds itself to be 11:58 a.m. I’m having mixed emotions about the day. Let’s go through this chronologically:

     -woke up at 3:46 because my neighbor was screaming at her boyfriend…on the phone

     -I had a dream last night but have no recollection of what happened.  Good enough for me. When people talk about dreams, they’re really talking about aspirations of goals they would like to one day accomplish. Dreaming at night while you sleep, well that’s something else. That is a fantasy (just because it’s labeled a fantasy doesn’t mean it is always a positive one, nightmares are fantasies too) your mind has created and placed you in.

     -later woke up at 6:40 to watch the Mexico vs Brazil final of the Men’s Soccer Tournament at the Olympics. Mexico won. I teared up inside. This is a special moment for me as a Mexico fan.

     -10:36 I ate breakfast. Chocolate pancakes with peanut butter. That was some delicious shit.

     -Current time, my parents are off to find a place to live. We might get evicted on Wednesday. The house is officially sold and the new owner gave us the ultimatum that if we would like to stay and extra month, we would have to pay $2,000 instead of the $1,300 we were paying the bank. The other option was obviously, get the fuck out. I don’t feel like checking my twitter, blog and facebook. I honestly don’t feel like doing shit or really talk to anyone but tomorrow is Jaime’s birthday party, which is going to be a cool way to get my mind off of things and on Tuesday I’m going to hang out with Shayna. I hadn’t seen her in two years (since I graduated, but in May I ran into her in Santa Monica and decided we had to hang out one day).  I’m not sure what I feel like doing exactly. The only plan I currently have is to turn an old pair of black shorts (they’re ripping, so I’m putting them to good use) into a carrying case for my phone that I can place on my Chrome bag. I have some pretty shitty sowing skills so this should be pretty interesting/fun/frustrating. They’re currently in the washing machine, so I’ll have to wait until they dry before putting my plan in full motion. I might just go to the science center to kill time. Where else would I go? (America, I’m sorry for not responding to your text, but I’m really just not in the mood for speaking to anyone. Thank you for it though; it gave me just the smile I needed when I woke up)

Sunday 8/12

The time is 12:51 a.m., which is technically a new day even though I have yet to call it a night/morning (pick your choosing cause I don’t really care). So I never ended up going to the Science Center but ended up going instead to eat at a restaurant my works at in Burbank. Without really intending for it, I got further insight into what is exactly going on with finding a new place to stay and call home. So the main problem arising with my mother not being able to get a mobile home to live is that her credit is not high enough to satisfy that of the owners of the mobile home park in Dominguez Hills. When my father made the decision to stop paying the mortgage of the house, (not sure if intentionally or not) it sent my mother’s credit spiraling downwards, while also taking out part of his own. At this point in time, my mother has no real chance to buy a place to live (like I said, because of credit problems) with her only alternative being to rent an apartment, which she is trying to avoid at all costs. I really wish I could understand her sometimes but I can’t because I’m no mind reader. On Monday (tomorrow I guess) we have to make a fully completed decision on if we will stay for an extra month or just move out and hope for the best. But me, I have other problems that don’t only linger in the “what to keep/what not to keep” material world, but the possible end of the friendship between my beloved dog and I. Moving to an apartment has a high chance of saying goodbye to Crunchbite. I could easily say that I love him about as much as my very first dog, Tobi, who was put down after being diagnosed with cancer. I don’t know if I can bring myself to say goodbye to him. If this is our last few days together, then I will cherish them forever. I love you buddy, you will forever be my puppy…(Tonight I’ll cry myself to sleep and hope for better things tomorrow.)

The End Of A Decade

Well there is nothing like ending a spectacular week with a bang. Might get evicted in five days. Yay. Goodbye social media, who knows when we'll see each other again.

And You Know And I Know That You Ain't Got Long Now To Last.

Last night was one of the most surreal and unbelievable nights of my entire (somewhat short in a way) 20 year life. Seeing Iron Maiden live is just one of those feelings that I doubt I'll ever experience again in my lifetime (total bullshit, once I see Mastodon live, then my life will have been complete). In the past two years, I've gotten to see three of the four bands that have shaped my life both as a person and an influence in what I listen to. In February 2010, I saw DevilDriver. April of 2011, I saw Mago de Oz and now Iron Maiden. (Like I said early, Mastodon is the only band left on the list). While there are other major bands I really fucking want to see before they retire like Megadeth and Slayer, they don't mean as much to me as these.

Spending yesterday with Gio, Kim and America just made the concert that much more special. For a bunch of old geezers in their mid 50s, fuck does Iron Maiden still put on a show. They played for two hours and essentially touched all the classics: "Run To The Hills," "Phantom of the Opera," "The Number Of The Beast," "Aces High," "The Trooper," "Fear of the Dark," "Wasted Years," "2 Minutes to Midnight," "Seventh Son of a Seventh Son" and "Can I Play With Madness." Singing "The Number of the Beast" with thousands of other people sent shivers down my spine. One thing was singing "Fiesta Pagana" at the Mago de Oz show, but I mean this is Iron Fucking Maiden. That song is ten years older than me and yet just saying "666 The Number of the Beast" was something else and made me tear up inside.

Steve Harris has already stated that there is going to be another Maiden album in the near future so that means they'll still be touring for at least a few more years and I'll be able to see them next time they come to town. I've see some good concerts and great concerts (DevilDriver and Arch Enemy in September was just wow; Paganfest, incredible; Mago de Oz, amazing; Rammstein, unbelievable) but Iron Maiden just took it to the next level. They're easily in their own league. Gio said last night, "pretty much every concert from here on out is going to be not as good" and I have to agree with him. I hope I will see Eddie take the stage once again and Bruce wave the British flag as he sings "The Trooper" very soon with the same group of friends and hopefully Irving. This show was the very best way to have ended summer vacation. I love you guys (friends and Iron Maiden), thanks for making the night so memorable.

Silent Torture Soon Coming Your Way

Hi everyone, today is a really big day. I'm going to go see Iron Maiden with Gio and America. Even though I should probably dedicate this post to them, I'm going to dedicate it to Helloween and their song "Mr Torture." I know I've talked about Helloween in the past and posted "Halloween." "Mr Torture" is very catchy and well made song. Enjoy it and have a great day.

Linus and Lucy

I love the Peanuts. Snoopy is one of the greatest cartoon characters of all time. So my song of the day is no other than the Peanuts theme song, "Linus and Lucy." Have a great day everyone.

Pathetic

I'm not really sure why I use yahoo.com. Besides my email, I have zero reasons to be there and yet I still find myself going through their "news." What pains me the most about it is that most of what they report is very biased and has a tendency to send the wrong messages. I read their 6 Dating Insecurities That Keep You Single. Besides the fact that it's a bunch of utter bullshit to blame a person for their own situation, it's a load of bullshit. But on the other hand, Yahoo is pretty smart. They have a lot of users who believe everything they post and can easily manipulated with articles that are paid for by big companies. America is so gullible, it saddens me.

A Saturday To Remember

So on Saturday, my good old friend America and I went to the LACMA for the day and it was incredibly fun to say the least. We rode our bikes there and had a lot of great laughs, food and and some of the worst lemonade either of us have probably tasted. We had a very interesting talk about the interpretation of art and how a lot of it is just pretty much some bullshit. So we decided to take it into our own hands and develop our own meanings for what the art really meant and that alone gave me some of the biggest laughs I have had in a while. There was this one art piece which featured like a thousand yellow tubes and this lady goes "so this is what it feels like to swim underwater."

Silhouettes are awesome

The afternoon/night brought even more laughs. Went to a sleepover with some friends. We watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and just a bunch of games until the sun rose once again. I fell asleep at 5 a.m. and everyone else shortly after but at 9 a.m., everyone was back up and running hahaha.

This summer has been more entertaining and eventful than the downers so I will continue to enjoy it while I can. Thursday is Iron Maiden in Irvine with America, Gio, Kim and Irving. Hopefully Thursday will come sooner than later. Good night everyone.

Returning To Old Ways

I'm not really sure why I stopped posting a song a day, but I really need to get into that rhythm. It didn't happen because I ran out of music (I could probably go a few years with posting a song a day), it just kinda happened. So to get back into the groove, here is some Mastodon. I've talked about them loads of times, so no introduction needed. This is "Curl of the Burl." Enjoy the song and have a great day.

Me Voy A Transformar En Tortuga Ninja

My life has been nothing short of a roller coaster and I'm happy to have had the friends that I currently have. Both new and old which have stuck with me through thin and thick. Sure, I am a bit crazy but so is everyone else. I'll always thank them for being such awesome friends.

Cada vez que pienso
y me doy cuenta donde
estoy entiendo menos
nunca supe bien porque
ni en que momento
me empezo a ganar a mí este sentimiento
tan buenos momentos
tanto andar como el quijote contra del viento
tanto miedo de vivir en la aventura
de tratar de ser feliz con mi locura
tantos amigos tantas cervezas
tantos bagartos tantas princesas
las razones que me hacen aguantar!!!
Tantos kilometros
yo recorri por vos
será que todavía me hace feliz
hay tantas cosas que se pueden complicar
pero antes muerto que dejar de soñar
si sigo comienzo pizza
me voy a transformar en tortuga ninja
lo mismo son diez mil que poca gente
lo importante es trasmitir lo que se siente
tantos comentarios
tantas vueltas que se dan
tanto escenario
tantas cosas salen mal pero se aguantan
es mejor hacerlo mal que no hacer nada
solo se aprende metiendo la pata
tanto laburo tan poca plata
que hay gente que nunca va a entender porque!
Tantos kilometros
yo recorri por vos
será que todavía me hace feliz
hay tantas cosas que se pueden complicar
pero antes muerto que dejar de soñar
pero antes muerto que dejar de soñar

I'm

Frustrated. End of story

Ska

I love ska. I lean more towards ska-punk and skacore because they're more upbeat, but all ska is good. The very first ska song I heard was back in 2000 when my friend Chris let me borrow the Digimon Movie Soundtrack with the songs "All My Best Friends Are Metal Heads" by Less Than Jake and "The Impression That I Get" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Shortly after that I also heard "Superman" by Goldfinger on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.

Since then, I haven't really come a long way from my ska bands. Over the years I've gotten into Ska-P, Senor Flavio, Nomades & Skaetera, They Might Be Giants, Ska Daddies, Reel Big Fish, Madness and Panteon Rococo, but that's really about it. Those are the only ska bands I've gotten into in the past twelve years (kinda sad when you think about it).

So today I kinda just spent all day looking for new ska-punk and skacore bands to get into. Now, while I did find a lot that I really liked, one stands above all and I am completely dedicating this post to them because they're fucking awesome. The band is called Oreskaband. They're an all female ska band from Japan. Way too fucking awesome. Check em out and just enjoy the music.