I'm Wasting My Time

Last month I was let go from my job and I have so much freedom to do stuff I've wanted to do in quite and I haven't done shit. This is going to change. Here we go.

Just Stop, Please

I can't wait for people to stop using the word bae. You all sound like fucking idiots! It's been lingering around for far too long in people's vocabularies. 

Press Release

I don't give a shit if you read my blog or not. If I offend you or you don't like what I post, that's your problem. Period.

Sunday Night

I'm currently laying down in the car. It's cold and windy outside but I'm prepared and wearing a really warm sweater, my Opeth Watershed shirt, black and purple Arsenal jersey, and my striped Arsenal scarf. My music taste has been all over the place recently and in this moment it tells me to listen to Queens of the Stone Age. I don't know that many songs by them (3 to be exact: "Little Sister", "Go With The Flow" and "No One Knows"). I don't really have much to say tonight. I might sleep in the car. I'm sure the cats would keep me company even though I have no food for them. 

"Heaven smiles above me" (whispers part)

For the Better

I need to exercise more. Changes in my lifestyle (aka carpooling) didn't help at all. I weigh a lot more than I would like and I lose my breath all the time when I go into the pit (cardio people). I used to ride my bike everywhere and play soccer all the time. Gotta get back into that grind.

Christmas List (Updated)

I always want all kinds of shit but this is all stuff I've been wanting for a while

-Ness Amiibo

-Darth Maul Disney Infinity character

-Shaggy and Scooby Lego Dimensions set

-Lego Jurassic World (eventually)
-All black high top Converse
-Newest Black Dahlia Murder CD- "Abysmal"

Bullshit

I'm not happy at all with what is going on. I'm not going to hold myself back when I say I can't wait til you move out.

Cogs

I saw this coming in advanced and I called it. Those gears are going to start turning really soon 

Shirts

It makes me happy that my shirts make people feel uncomfortable. It's a fucking gimmick. Like 90% of the image that comes with being a metal head is making other people feel uneasy (even though everyone is rather nice). There is this shirt I really love that is all black and in white text it says "generic offensive image." Such a beautiful summary. :)

I'm awesome

End of story 

On this day

Guest writer America:

As my knee keeps me from enjoying the show and your enthusiasm I am still very much in love with you. Nothing special or rather nothing in particular has happened but I believe all my time spent with you is special. I love making you smile and seeing you happy always. 

I've really come to realize what we have and what we've been missing In recent months. I don't want to be deprived of that in the future. 

I love you to death and I wish I could switch and solve everything in a minute.

But thank you for sticking by and continuing to be the most amazing man you have always been.

Working List of Everything I Want to Buy (Revisited)

A little over a year ago I posted a working list of stuff I wanted to buy. Let's see how I'm doing:

• Disney Infinity 2.0 with Stitch and Merida - [x]
• Grand Theft Auto 5 for the PS4 - [x]
• Bayonetta 2 - [x]
• Far Cry 4 for PS4 - [x]
• Kingdom Hearts 2.5 - [x]
• Super Smash Bros WiiU - [x]
• Super Smash Bros Amiibos:
• Link - [x]
• Pikachu - [x]
• Yoshi - [x]
• Marth - [x]
• Peach - [x]
• Samus - []
• Kirby - []
• Kingdom Hearts Christmastown Sora Action Figure - [x]
• Witcher 3 - [x]
• Kingdom Hearts poster - []
• Shadows of Mordor - [x]
• LittleBigPlanet 3 - [x]
• Captain Toad - []
• Splatoon - [x]
• Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare - [x]

 17 out of 21 ain't bad at all

I Won't Fight No Fucking War

And add that to the list of shit I can't do 

This Is A New One

You're 22 and you're basically throwing a fit over having to pay $35 for shoes that you need for your job. I'm freakin baffled. 

Guerra de la Galaxia

Let's get some positive vibes going on this blog. So I bought Disney Infinity 3.0 and I finally started playing it and it's awesome. You can see tell that they're making good strides on game play and the game does look prettier too. Plus Star Wars is amazing. Oh yeah. I do plan on buying every figure they're releasing for this set. 

I also want to buy a bunch of Star Wars toys. Especially the Lego Star Wars ones. There is this orange and black X-Wing that looks sick!! And then there are the light sabers :3 Ever since Disney bought LucasFilms, they've done everything right with the brand and property. Keep it up 

I miss so many little things and I'm deprived of all of it. So many interactions and moments that just don't happen anymore. I miss it all and it's really frustrating at times. Ugh

Not bad for four weeks 

The Small Print

Do I get annoyed? Of course I get annoyed. When I see someone forcefully trying to take a bag off of someone's shoulders while they're carrying something, annoys me. When I see someone trying to be cute because they want to be able to get away with eating spicy food even though they know it has negative effects on their body and digestive system, I get annoyed. And when someone lowers their voice because I'm approaching or sitting really close, well of fucking course you're going to bet that I'm going to get annoyed. You add all this up into a time span of a little over an hour and I'm going to be pretty god damned annoyed. That was last night and I'm still pretty annoyed by it now. Fuck

Thoughts

I think I've passed her point of no return. I don't think it actually ever got better

Maybe I want to talk too before bed, not just "good night. remember to wake me up in the morning"

.

It's almost been 3 weeks. Some nights I don't really sleep as well as I tell myself I do. Other nights, like tonight, I have trouble getting to a sleepy point. I'm where I am because of the mistakes I've made. And that's the truth.

Reality Check

Got kicked out of my own bed and been sleeping on the couch for almost a week now. It sucks.

Self Assessment

I need to improve myself mentally. I'm not talking about the asshole me that gets annoyed by people who wear sandals or leggings for pants, I mean by holding others to my own merit. My parents do this and it bugs the shit out of me. I don't care if one parent isn't as good as the other one because they don't do x, y, or z. I never noticed it until rather recently. I'm not ashamed of myself because I do understand the logic behind it: both parties hypothetically share the same responsibilities in all sorts of matters (like keeping a person happy, buying necessities,etc). I sound like an asshole right now (and I'm glad I do because it makes me a better person to know what I'm doing wrong ) when I say I think I represent an ideal partner in a relationship. Does it make me sound self centered? Yes. Most likely a prick too but I personally believe I carry those characteristics. Am I perfect? Hell no. So what am I getting at? Well sometimes I get annoyed when other people aren't like me, in the sense that they don't do many of the same responsibilities that I believe should be shared by partners. Am I wrong? Fuck yes I am. I am myself. I am no other person in any other relationship or even in my own. I am damaging myself when I perceive that other people should do more. How? Because I can't set my own personal standards to other people. We were all raised differently and share different or even conflicting ideas on how to approach different things. So lately I've been getting rather recently annoyed because a person who I share a living space with has no job, spends the most time at home, and does the least amount around the house. This is my perception of how I see things. I'm not sure if I'm even correct but they are also dealing with some mental health issues. For all I know they lack all motivation to do anything but: sleep, go on tumblr and watch Grey's Anatomy all day. I know they're also stressed out having moved from New York to LA (and adjusting to life without relatives or a best friend) and not having yet to find a job. I'll slowly get better at this.

Ridiculous

It's weird to see a person in denial about their eating habits. You can't even finish a kid's meal, why do you even order large portions of food?!

Truth

I need to do better. This has been a bit of a mess and I know I'm part of the problem. I'm most likely a bigger part of the problem than I thought I have been. I'm monogamous to the core.

A Voyage Into The Unknown

Everything in this past month is more than I ever would've imagined and then some. I'm loving it in every way possible. It's unfortunate that some of it going to be put on hold for the moment but it is time to take the next step. We're going into uncharted territory with no real possible way of knowing how things will end on the other side. But I think we're all positive and it will work out.

I Love

The woman I'm with. In every way possible.

El Equipo Que Gana A Los Mejores Y Pierde Con Los Peores

I'm a huge Mexican National Team fan and it's just terrible to watch these games where they have no composure and can't play to save their lives. I just don't understand why this team isn't clicking. Vela should be scoring goals, Layun should be a great offensive and defensive player, Hector Herrera...don't even get me started. I just hope they all get their shit together. I want them to win the Gold Cup final, but with how they're playing, doesn't seem likely

Confessing My Love

I absolutely love my partner/soulmate/best friend. She is this amazing person that I find myself lucky to be with. She is charming, intelligent and just fucking gorgeous. It's crazy how beautiful she is and she chose me to be her partner. The chemistry is there and it's just amazing how we work so well together, have all these conversations and grow with each other. I love her and I'm really excited for what the future holds.

Sometimes it's just so easy to get bypassed in recollecting memories. I swear. All I ask for is thank yous and that's like the hardest thing in the world.

Thoughts While Cutting Lots of Cables

I was thinking about RoadRunner United (as it's their 10th anniversary) and the one song that really let me down was "Roads." It features Opeth's singer Mikael Akerfeldt on vocals. That guy has some amazing growls and a really good, really technical guitar player, but he sings the slowest song on the album. Are you fucking kidding me? Ridiculous 

Our Songs

I will always love these songs

Sigh

New York hasn't been kind to me. Not the first time and not the second time. San Antonio wasn't either. Why is it always something :/ maybe I'm just asking for too much attention. You can post on Instagram but you can't text me? I would appreciate just something

Many Things

I'm lucky and fortunate to have found the perfect partner. I'm also incredibly proud of her in so many ways. She survived college to live. Maybe it wasn't all smiles the whole way, but I'm more than sure the ending result was worth it. She's intelligent, beautiful, smart and hilarious in every way. She's a smokin' hot lady and I consider myself lucky to be with her so thank you to whatever powers that be lead this to happen (Satan). She's off on a week long trip and I miss her like crazy already.

Rivals

A new Coal Chamber album comes out today and I'm really excited. So many years later I still love the band :) My lady and I went to go see them live a few months back and I got to meet the whole band as the awesomest birthday present!!! Me loco!

Under the Rug

Sometimes I wish I could get a thank you every here and there after the events of last summer. I did things to make others happy and sacrificed my own happiness for the most part of the second half of last year. I don't get the occasional "thanks for giving me/us this opportunity to be happy and try something new" that I wish I did. It feels a lot more like I'm the one who got swept under the rug. And if I say "thanks to me..." then I look like a self-centered bastard. Woop de fuckin do. I wish it wasn't like this, but that's just how it is most of the time.

Unfortunately rather short lived but I appreciated the gesture while it lasted

Random Point In Time

It's interesting seeing events from other people's perspectives. It'll always be an uncomfortable period for me.

I want a cat but I want to give it a dog name like Fido. That would be awesome. Everyone would be confused and I would just be frustrated because I can't use my computer due to Fido sleeping on my keyboard 

Jazz is an asshole

I'm an asshole and I feel like an asshole. I've got nothing against the Blackout I just find basically 99.9% of the world's population unaesthetically pretty in any way, shape or form. And to see you going crazy online about her looks brings me down a bit. It took me over 2 years to get anywhere close to that. Oh well. 

To be or not to be

I only find one woman in this world beautiful. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but in my head that's the way the cookie crumbles. 

Might Just Try It

Last week I played Left 4 Dead 2 with my friends and it was awesome. I had lots of fun with everything just going absolutely batshit crazy in that game. I feel like that moment helped me reignite a passion for games that I had been lacking. Now I haven't really been playing games any less cause I've been putting hours into FIFA 15 like crazy, but I felt like there wasn't much of a reason to play any of my other games. But since last week I feel back at it. I feel like I want to play Far Cry 4 and finish that damn campaign, and fight the rhinos and do all the fun stuff crammed into that game. I'm six hours into the campaign and I feel like I've gotten so little done. But then that got me thinking, what if I talk about the games I play. What I like about them, what I don't, what's annoying. Kind of like reviewing games. Maybe I would give them a score. I have no idea but it sounds fun to do, just like running people over in Far Cry 4 with auto pilot on. We'll see where this goes.

Never mind of yesterday, I'm feeling super special again :D

Well at least I enjoyed that novelty feeling of being called a soulmate while it lasted 

Yesterday I received the highest compliment I could receive, you were speechless when you saw me come out of the fitting room. It's been a really long time since I've been able to provoke a reaction even similar to it since the summer. I'm sorry that I can't look that attractive all the time but it was really nice to see you speechless and it made me feel great about myself and my own self confidence. 

New things can be scary sometimes. But sometimes they also bring excitement.

A Random Non-Metal Playlist

Time Travel

I forgot to post this many weeks ago. But I still find it relevant to how I feel now 

Sometimes it's hard not to be jealous. But it is what it is.

I love you with everything my heart holds

ditto

Tonight feels like it was all my fault thanks to yesterdays events and other things leading up to it. A lot of things are my fault and tonight feels like one of them. Going to miss sleeping alongside you tonight. I love you very much

DIY

I'm going through a DIY phase right now. It doesn't really make sense to me why or how it happened, but it did and I love it. I recently got an Xbone and painted my controllers red and black. And then I changed the colors on my thumbsticks on my PS4. It was REALLY fun to do. Thankfully I had my special someone to help me do all the work :)

There are still a lot of things about myself I need to improve. I know for a fact that I grew a lot in 2014 and in 2015 I will continue. Entering this new year I'm part of a relationship that continues to evolve into places I never saw coming. There is obvious excitement as well as uncertainty, but also a willingness to attempt new things in what could be either great or ultimate failure. Luckily our bound is as strong as ever and whatever the future holds, we're ready for it.