Gene-Sis

Deep down inside, I think I'm pretty shitty of a brother. I'm pretty much a straight up jerk with my sister. I have a tendency to be rude to her, get mad at her, snap at her. A lot of times I act like she's a burden to me when she really means no harm. I love her, I really do, but I guess it's just that being born so many years apart and having essentially grown up separately (she ignored me and grew up hanging out with the neighbor's teens for ten years) is kinda why there is a semi-loss of chemistry. I make fun of her a lot, and although I don't do it with bad intention, I know it hurts her feelings. Then there is always the little thing that sits in the back of my mind and has somewhat haunted me since it happened: I was about 9 and Genesis was 2. We had bunk beds and I was cleaning the dust off of one of the shelves in my room. There was a trophy on the shelf and I threw it onto the top bunk, unbeknownst to me, Genesis had walked into the room, and the trophy bounced off the top bed and and hit her straight in the head with the marble edge of the base of the trophy. The whole incident plays in my mind all the time and there is always that fear inside me that her brain was damaged...