A Turn of Events

I don't think I've written a serious post in a while

My sister didn't graduate middle school. It came as a shock to all of us. My sister got really lucky we still have the No Child Left Behind program in place put in by President Bush that prevents children from K-8 from being held back. But at its very core, I messed up and forgot that what she's going through is really hard, especially more now than ever. My sister was/is a lot closer to my parents than I will ever be. They share a different bond than I did, which is probably more related to the time spent together growing up. (Maybe I'll talk about this in a later post)

Anyways the point I bring this up is just because my sister tried committing suicide a few weeks ago as her own personal reaction to the news of not graduating middle school. She knew the disappointment that there would be from this just because both of my parents highly value getting an education as so do I, but I understand sometimes higher education/schooling system just doesn't work for everyone. To be honest, we were all disappointed. We all went out of our way to accommodate her culmination ceremony. My mom even took my sister to a restaurant she had always wanted to go to as a gift.

On the day that would have been her culmination, my mom headed out to my sister's middle school to see her grades and discovered that she was no where close to graduating. The blame goes all around between everyone. My dad doesn't really intervene in her schooling. Doesn't ask for grades, doesn't ask how she's doing in school. My mom is too busy balancing time to spend with my sister and work. And me? Just being a shitty brother that pays barely any attention.

My sister is psychologically scarred. She's stuck in a situation worse than I am in between parents that always want to be right. She has all these bottled up feelings inside and no where to release them. Today my mom told me she's trying to take my sister to psychologist through her health care provider and I believe (I could be completely wrong) that this will benefit my sister just because no one really knows how to listen to her without inserting their own biased opinion. (I'm pretty sure even I do this)

My sister is scared I don't love her just because we rarely spend time together. She's scared of my mom because she likes to shout when things aren't done immediately and throws large tantrums. And lastly she hates being alone since my dad leaves her home alone to just watch tv all the time. 

I don't really know what I would do if I lost my sister. Obviously I would keep living, breath and going through everyday life, but since I'm home all the time by myself, I'm pretty sure I would have danced close to depression and my would have been in an even worse situation, losing a mother and daughter in less than month. Even though I have a terrible way of demonstrating it, she does mean a lot to me.

She's bright but just hasn't found her calling just yet, which is ok because she still has three years to decided if she wants to go to college or not (after that would mean taking her time deciding what she wants to do). I do have to say that I'm glad she's slowly taken up reading books. Hopefully it helps expand her imagination and takes her mind off stressful stuff. Keep your head up sis, better things will come.