Starless Night Skies

Here i sit in my bed, preparing to rest but not going to sleep just yet. I'm going to be extremely honest here, there are days I really wished the devil existed. Just to have something to blame for all that is going on. I was given the great news during breakfast that all current plans have been thrown out the door and we're moving this weekend since the new owner has raised the rent price once again if we wanted to stay another month. That's not even the worst part, what is really shitty here is the stress it's putting my mom through and she takes some of it out on me. I find it ridiculous that my mom wants to buy a house and resell it in a few years.

I visited my dad today and he goes, "Your mom messed up by trying to put me in jail and take the house away. This is what she gets for doing that. It had to be sold eventually." I had no idea what to respond to that. Besides the fact that my father used to my mother to hide his sexuality and yet still cheated on her, obviously she was the was the one who messed up in the relationship.

Essentially between tomorrow and Saturday I need to fully pack up my room. I have yet to even start with one cable. I'm beginning to get curious of where we will end up. I really just wish my mom wasn't so picky about the house she wants to stay at. My mom can't get the proper loan for a house because of her credit yet she continues to avoid apartments since it's time and money wasting.

I'm not really sure what to do anymore so I'm just going to say fuck it and just continue whatever it was I was doing in the first place. I mean I have no idea what my priorities in life should be since I'm surrounded by this constant chaos. All I know is that I need to keep my head in school and make someone proud. I don't think I'd mind being homeless as long as I were still going to CSUN.

I'm currently watching Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra but probably going to watch Inglorious Bastards right now just to get my mind off of things. I'm not in the mood for any particular movie but that's the only that seems like it would hit the spot right now. (On a side note, I need to find a horror movie watching partner. I've seen way too many as a party of one. America are you up to it? There are a handful coming out this October.)

Good night and until next time.

 

"Burn in Hell" by Dimmu Borgir